Here is a description of my Extreme Avoidance experience, to be sung to the tune of Stephen Sondheim's "I'm Still Here" (from the Broadway show "Follies").
I am interested in having this made into an audio recording and am willing to pay to make this happen. If anyone is interested in helping, please let me know.
*
Permission to share freely with attribution.
"Good Days & Bad Days"
Lyrics By Lisa Petrison
Lyric Structure and Music by Stephen Sondheim
Good days and bad days, I've seen them all
And, my dear, I'm still here.
Big cities some days,
Some days just grizzlies and deer, but I'm here.
I've done avoidance as extreme.
Ten showers daily, quite the scheme.
Seen all my stuff disappear, but I'm here.
I've camped in rainstorms, plus I got bit by a tick, but I'm here.
Tents broke in windstorms
Then I got doused with the ick, but I'm here.
Folks say with mold, I am obsessed
On roads potholed throughout the West.
Out in the desert was I depressed?
Nowhere near, I found a place to get clear, and I'm here.
I've done some doxy, AV’s and strict gluten-free, and I'm here.
Cleanses with coffee, Deplin and Vitamin C, and I'm here.
I tried some neural therapy, IV’s and homeopathy,
CSM packs and Three Lac, and kefir.
I sat through Dr. Judy, and I'm here.
I've traveled through Dallas, and Tahoe, and Ann Arbor, Mich.
Gee, that was fun and a half.
When you've been through Dallas, and Tahoe, and Ann Arbor, Mich.,
Anything else is a laugh.
I've been to Bozeman,
I've braved the Death Valley heat -- and I'm here.
Froze off my toes, then
Hiked in the hope I’d excrete -- and I'm here.
Up all night dodging algae blooms,
Forced from my lodging by mold plumes.
“You’re just making up miasma fumes,” people jeer.
Still the effects, they’re severe, so I’m here.
New bedding one day;
Next day, it goes in the trash -- but I'm here.
Feel great on Monday;
Tuesday, slammed down in a crash -- but I'm here.
Buy a Casita or a Scamp,
Then it feels toxic, so tent camp.
Then you appear to revere what’s austere.
I’ve run through all my money, and I'm here.
I've gotten through unmasking and the depression response,
Suicide season, heart pains.
And better yet, now it’s intensification response,
Rashes, mind blanks and migraines.
Good days and bad days, I've seen 'em all
And, my dear, I'm still here.
Big cities some days,
Some days just grizzlies and deer, but I'm here.
I've come to crave the GFD*
Screw fear, and dammit, C'est la vie.
I hit the total nadir, and I'm here.
Lord knows it’s really been queer, but I'm here
Look who's here! I'm still here!
* GFD = Godforsaken Desert
www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0aed46yuyA&ytsession=gLMqx_NTrePCT-n-fK2a82wiAIL_SDFpEWkBtFM5ICRzvBpu4wGuLELiQBk9TFg7jeImGw5E9LAbZX9AiacRUzQG4HiRPPeGHV9beQuVAdWQ393mCjOxoKp0rXAM6mX3CCB6zsatvI8myUASfyVN-PAPvM6FhjOUCDnPmdd5xyoUXytN0MPqIgPy7ti9vOHyEWYLAWWe1P1Aw1X7FjCZwaofRJL0UshMmx_oZefo0JzxN86kNon7uhSYITinSLwwPm4h2rsSFEXETMP7spStUaXkP50QJpxQAc7DxIcIjvuI_vCqxkDhgw-v2QUqyJ7V9m7vA12koASRa03o9jhkcFZj8DxFpIsq3pOxJJGRn4if1MCgXAVg7YqbV_qB3kdjdhLwnMINGM6L4rEZdoMogXc-GMIN1fvwnf9OFZgqwVBzpfZSxXam-UwuKH4qAhy593hjoOoVtlGMVp1r7OMrM-1x0saGYZIHWsorF4w5zDZsUvx1Th50-1p_IA-UKKC-OexN23yQbdSBZqhZs1YRNjUvmpoo28UrkREjfthkHtriI9x5ZLoLapje02djRnln4L3jC0zalAf67iFnQfqf6sm3GFYcGJgTZWIEzKAvSQw***
Original Stephen Sondheim Song -- "I'm Still Here"
Good times and bum times, I've seen them all
And, my dear, I'm still here
Plush velvet sometimes
Sometimes just pretzels and beer, but I'm here
I've stuffed the dailies in my shoes
Strummed ukuleles, sung the blues
Seen all my dreams disappear but I'm here.
I've slept in shanties, guest of the W.P.A., but I'm here
Danced in my scanties
Three bucks a night was the pay, but I'm here
I've stood on bread lines with the best
Watched while the headlines did the rest
In the depression was I depressed?
Nowhere near, I met a big financier and I'm here
I've been through Gandhi, Windsor and Wally's affair, and I'm here
Amos 'n' Andy, Mah-jongg and platinum hair, and I'm here
I got through Abie's Irish Rose, five Dionne babies, Major Bowes
Had heebie-jeebies for Beebe's Bathysphere.
I got through Shirley Temple, and I'm here
I've gotten through Herbert and J. Edgar Hoover
Gee, that was fun and a half
When you've been through Herbert and J. Edgar Hoover
Anything else is a laugh
I've been through Reno,
I've been through Beverly Hills, and I'm here.
Reefers and vino,
Rest cures, religion and pills, and I'm here
Been called a Pinko commie tool,
Got through it stinko by my pool
I should've gone to an acting school, that seems clear
Still someone said, "She's sincere", so I'm here
Black sable one day, next day it goes into hock, but I'm here
Top billing Monday, Tuesday, you're touring in stock, but I'm here
First you're another sloe-eyed vamp
Then someone's mother, then you're camp
Then you career from career to career
I'm almost through my memoirs, and I'm here
I've gotten through, "Hey, lady, aren't you whoozis?
Wow, what a looker you were"
Or better yet, "Sorry, I thought you were whoozis
Whatever happened to her?"
Good times and bum times, I've seen 'em all
And, my dear, I'm still here
Flush velvet sometimes
Sometimes just pretzels and beer, but I'm here
I've run the gamut, A to Z
Three cheers and dammit, C'est la vie
I got through all of last year, and I'm here
Lord knows, at least I was there, and I'm here
Look who's here, I'm still here
Shirley Maclaine Version from "Postcards from the Edge":
www.dailymotion.com/video/xnlgkl_shirley-maclaine-i-m-still-here_shortfilms#.UYU8IY5OTzIAnn Miller Version:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYn_wDC3mKA
